Again, in no particular order...
Manhattan Beach Ballers - Anytime a team has Lebron, Amare, and Westbrook - they are going to at least be OK. Right? I'll admit, the talent on this team after those 3 guys is average but if they just play OK this team could be in the thick of things. MBB is like those late 30's, early 40's chicks who are really out for one last hurrah. He's got Richard Jefferson - who used to be stunning and now just looks stunned. He's got Tayshaun Prince who was once a great player on a championship team - now he just walks around the supermarket looking for the price check boys. And what about Jason Kidd? He's like Bo Derek - he almost gets better with age. But at some point you can imagine how old and wrinkly things are in certain places. Will MBB have enough %'s with this crew? Will his youngsters have breakout seasons? Only time will tell. And let's see if MBB uses any of his FA money this time around.
Golden Showers - I'm calling my team 6 of one and half dozen of the other. I feel like I have 6 talents and 6 unknowns. Really, it's like following behind someone with an attractive ass in South Beach. Tight jeans. Long blond hair. A nice little hitch in the walk. But is it a girl or a guy? From behind - you just can't tell sometimes. The question marks are guys like Haywood, Hill, Teague, Jack, Kemba and Gooden. They could be good or they could be FA's in a couple of weeks. The top talent of Gay Love, Wade, and Lopez should keep me in the conversation for awhile. But until I can see who the blonde with the long hair is - I won't know what I have in Golden.
Yuma Thurmans - fitting that Yuma is here when Uma herself probably fits this category. Some find Uma very attractive. Others, not so much. Yuma is built around 4 studs and 3 of them are getting on in years. Gasol, Kobe, Pierce and the youngster Al Jefferson should lead the way for Yuma this season. He has the budding star Jimmer on board and he has the very under-rated Mike Conley and Kris Humphries back as well. Pat is counting on his aging veterans (Grant Hill, Metta Peace, and Bibby) for solid years. We just don't know what we're getting with those guys though. Like many of the BC school teachers who flock to Thailand to look at dancing girls - we just don't know if it's a girl or boy until we've gone too far.
French Lick Celtics - The top end talent is young (Curry, Holiday, Jordan, and Blatche) while his depth is experienced. This is like an early 30's chick who got married at 18. She's still in her prime and just blossoming into full cougar status. Unfortunately, the guy she married at 18 was 34 and he was rough on her mileage if you know what I mean. That's where French's guys like Rip, S-Jax, Jamison, Terry and Butler come in. He'll need them to be good and stay healthy to add depth to this squad. Steve Nash, G-Wallace and Chris Kaman need healthy years as well for French to try for back-to-back money place finishes.
Idaho Udapimps - Once again, Idaho has loaded up on scoring. It's like a late 30's girl who never had sex until her mid 30's. Once she figures out how much fun 'doing it' is - she wants to 'score' all the time. She doesn't care where or how or when - just do it. That's Idaho. Just score. Just shoot. Just score. Idaho has 5 players that could average 20ppg. However, there are no PG's on this roster so I'm not sure how the ATO will work. Also, besides D12 - will anyone shoot over 50%. A couple categories there that could use some work. Kinda like a nymphomaniac with no boobies. Sure, she puts out - but it could be better with bigger ta-ta's.
Brussels Muscles - The big 4 of this team appear to be Gordon, Wall, Zach and Boozer. Not too shabby at all. The Muscles have breakout candidates in Lawson and Gallinari and also hopes for a revival from Troy Murphy, Haslem and Varejao. For those players it's like a cougar who hasn't had sex in years. Will she remember how to do it? What works best? What if I do it wrong? Will Murphy ever regain his 15 and 10 form? Will Haslem stay healthy and fit with those other Miami bitches? Will Varejao's injury flair up? Brussels appears to need some assistance in the blocks category but we all know Timmy isn't afraid to hit Robson and buy his Cougars some new shoes if needed.
Well, there you have it JBL-lovers - those are your JBL Cougars to start the 2011/12 season.
That means that your Bunnies to start the year include the Wack, Seoul, Bangkok and the Arctic. Stay tuned for their review.
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