What a great day south of the border. But, like many holiday meals, there is usually one item on that dinner table that scares me to death. You see, I was told growing up to eat everything on my plate. And unfortunately I was always given a little bit of everything that was being served. And that's when it happened. Those little green things, usually 4-5 of them, would be placed onto my plate. You know what I'm referring to - brussel sprouts (no relation to our JBL franchise Brussels Muscles).
I was never fond of the brussel sprout as a kid. Didn't like the taste of them. Now, older and wiser, I can handle them (mainly because we cook them in butter with onions and bacon).
What's my point?? Well, just like the disappointment on my face when I was a kid of seeing those brussel sprouts there are numerous NBA Fantasy players who leave me less than impressed these days. And I don't think even bacon would help these turkeys! So, here's my Thanksgiving Day brussel sprout awards for each JBL team for those players who I just can't stomach.
Arctic - Crikker finds 2 sprouts on his plate. Andrew Bogut and Elton Brand. Bogut due to injury and Brand due to getting old? Bogut went for $34 bucks at Auction and has only been able to play 4 games so far for Arctic. That sucks. Brand has played. He just doesn't play well anymore. 6 and 6 while in Arctic's lineup just doesn't cut it.
Bangkok - Rick knows who his sprout is. It's the player he once thought had 16-5-5 potential. That's right. Mr. Jared Dudley gets the award for Kok sprout early on this season. 8ppg and 31% from downtown just isn't good enough.
Brussels - What an honour to have a sprout award in the name of your JBL team. Timmy's sprout goes to Michael Beasley. I have to admit, I expected big things from the Beez in PHX but his $19 dollar salary is too rich for his 12 and 5 stinky vegetable numbers. His 36/27 %'s just add insult to injury.
Chilliwack - Benny's sprout award goes to Gerald Green. Not so much for his mediocre play but more because of the expectation that we would excel without Granger around. I thought he would explode. But nope. He's 8 and 5 and doesn't do much else. I expected way more from him and no amount of gravy will make him eatable.
French Lick - oh Frenchie. It's been a rough start and I could fill your plate with these little green bad boys. How about Gerald Wallace and his $23 dollar salary for yet another injury? Or maybe $17 for Nene and his bad feet? Or Jeff Green's disappointing start that found him kicked off the island after just 8 games. Hildy will be the healthy though with all of these sprouts on his plate.
Golden - I'm giving myself 3 sprouts for sure. Mr. Ilyasova. You suck. I'm also giving sprouts to my rookie picks (Crowder and Robinson) for making me feel like an idiot. I had the 5th pick but traded down (TWICE) because I thought these guys would earn spots in rotations. I could have just picked Waiters or Barnes and been happy. But no, I had to get extra sprouts for my plate.
Idaho - Isaiah Thomas and Landry Fields find themselves as little green veggies this day. Fields has been a complete bust in Toronto and was on the waiver wire pretty quickly. Thomas, after a wonderful rookie season, can't get on the floor in Sactown anymore and is losing minutes all the time. Poor little guy.
Juan de Fuca - I would never want B-Roy to be a sprout and I had high hopes for a positive return to the NBA. But when you have bad knees - you have bad knees. I think Roy should quietly walk off into the distance knowing he tried. Take some bacon with you B-Roy - you'll taste a lot better.
Manhattan Beach - 2 sprouts for MBB and those are Jerryd Bayless and Manu Giniboli. Manu's is because he's been fighting off injuries and Bayless is because I'm not sure why or how he's been able to play 8 games for the Ballers already. Sure, he doesn't really hurt them - but does he help. And hey, you can't hide your sprouts under your mashed potatoes - I can still see them.
Maui - You have giant sprouts on your plate Trev. One is shaped like Steve Nash and the other looks like D-Wade. Injuries are the cause of them being there but this goes to show that you can't mash brussel sprouts to make them test better. You need to have them whole. Steamed nicely. I'm sure 2 months from now Nash and Wade will be a nice stuffing smothered in gravy.
Seoul - Can I just give your entire backcourt the award and put a dozen sprouts on your plate? Hinrich? Thabo? Crawford? Oh man. And you're not leaving the table until you eat them all.
Yuma - I'm sure Lamar Odom is eating a big portion today but I'm pretty sure he isn't any green leafy vegetables. I think he just puts a straw in the gravy boat and goes to town. Look at those arms!! They are filled with gravy.
He's averaging 1.8ppg and 3 rebs while shooting 9/39 from the field. Oh my.
He needs to start eating more brussel sprouts and less of this...
So, there you have it...the brussel sprout awards on this Thanksgiving Day. Enjoy the weekend everyone as week 4 wraps up...
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