Christmas Wish Lists

A recent comment by the young Idaho owner that he needed a Christmas miracle for his squad inspired this posting. He hoped that JaVale McGee could average 20-10-4. While that would certainly help, JaVale hasn’t averaged those type of numbers since 5th grade. But with the Christmas season approaching…why shouldn’t we make those wishes? Let’s look at each team and see what they should be asking for from Santa this holiday season.

Arctic

• LaMarcus – can you please average 20+ points again? This team concept and reduced stats in San Antonio is great for the Spurs, but makes for lousy Fantasy production
• Jabari – can you please get healthy? Remember when you were a rookie and looked like you were going to be a star? Come on man, get it going. Besides, you were part of the Myles Turner trade. All eyes are on you still!
• Dwight – remember 5 years ago when you could play every night and rip of 20 and 15 games all the time? How about you just play every night and averaged 15 and 10? I’m sure Arctic would appreciate that.
• Tony Wroten – yes, you, Tony, can you come back healthy and score 16-18ppg? Last year, in 30 games, you averaged 17 and 5. Sure, you can’t throw it in the ocean from a boat – but Arctic could sure use some scoring. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZR2Euju2fI
• Pekovic – either get healthy or retire from the NBA and just cruise dark alleys and scare the bejeezus out of people.

Bangkok

• MCW – really? 9-3-4? Those aren’t your rookie year numbers. Has Kidd done something to you? What’s up my hyphenated name friend?
• Speaking of which, Rick wants more hyphenated last name players (Carter-Williams, Hollis-Jefferson, Cauley-Stein) – talk about a theme team. Odd. 
• Rick needs a breakout star. He needs one of Hood, Winslow, Hollis-Jefferson, or big Willie Cauley-Stein to become a GREAT player. Not a good one, a great one. 
• Nurkic – another breakout candidate – can he do it? Please, anyone. Help the Kok.
• And he needs Lebron to average 30-10-10. Please and thank you Santa.

Brussels

• JCVD needs KG and Tayshaun to retire so that Gorgui can start and play 35 minutes a night
• Mirotic – can you please play like you did in week 1 – and not this current chucker (39/33%’s). Cause if you’re not playing awesome, the beard if a little creepy. He must use the Keith Hernandez beard colouring solution
• Hello Phoenix, can you please trade Markieff to Detroit so my boy TJ Warren can get regular minutes? Much appreciated, Brussels.
• Dear Mr. Kidd, Please just let the Muppet Man (John Henson) play 35 minutes a night for 5 straight games. If you don’t like what you see, go back to current state. 
• Dear Chandler, get better soon. I traded Reggie Jackson for you so you better get healthy!

Chilliwack

• Dear Portland, please start Ed Davis. 
• Dear Deron, please stay healthy. We know you have ankles of glass, but you are doing great. Keep it up.
• Dear Jonas, you are so important to the Wack. Your rebounding and blocks are exactly what we need. No pressure either, we only had to give up Danny Green for you. 
• Dear Myles, the entire JBL is watching your progress as you have been traded so many times already. You could be a superstar so we want you to show everyone what you can do.

French Lick

• A shooting coach to teach these guys how to hit the mark. Danilo, CJ, Ariza, and all you other guys – focus and shoot straight!!
• More scoring. With 4 20ppg guys already the entire JBL wants to see more 20ppg guys on this roster. Why? Because we all want to see a 250 point scoring night from a team.
• Big man blocks – hey, Randle, Faried, Leonard – jump and block more shots. Follow Jerami’s lead. And hey Jerami, keep up the great work (38 blocks) – you’ve been a big surprise, although maybe stop shooting so many 3's (9/47 = 19%)

Golden

• Dear Markieff, figure it out. You don’t always need your brother by your side do you?? Can’t live without him? Please. Grow up. 
• Dear Goran, it’s OK to be good again. I know you’re intimidated by the man-child Hassan in the showers – but it’s OK, you’re a white guy. It’s supposed to be that size. Just go out and play basketball. Lob the ball to Hassan. 
• Speaking of Hassan, how about passing the ball a couple of times? Your 4/33 ATO is Yinka Dare like. http://www.basketball-reference.com/players/d/dareyi01.html. Yinka had 0 assists and 72 turnovers in the 95/96 season. Impressive, I know. You would think just one time you would pass to someone who would immediately score. Weird. 
• Dear Brooklyn, please recycle Jarrett Jack so young Mr. Larkin can have a go. On a side note, wouldn’t Jack be the perfect type of player for Philly to lead their group of youngsters? They have no veteran presence on that team and a guy like Jack would be perfect in my mind. Philly should acquire Jack and Tayshaun Prince (won titles, veteran presence, doesn’t need to play much) to teach…
• Hey Stanley Johnson – remember how you played in pre-season?? Play like that.

Idaho

• Dear Danny Green, why do you suck so much? You had a monster year last year and got paid this summer. Is that why you suck now? You went for $29 bucks at Auction and should probably be on the waiver wire. Please Santa, make Danny care about his JBL stats. 
• Dear Nerlens, please stop pretending to be in a Kid & Play You Tube video and get back to stealing and blocking. http://kentuckybasketballforum.com/site/posts/453/nerlens-noel-kid-can-play/
• Hey Cody Zeller, you realize you’re playing time is being blocked by Marvin Williams? It’s only Marvin Williams – it’s not Pau Gasol. Why can’t you be better than Marvin Williams? Come on Cody, pick it up.
• Dear Santa – please allow Jeremy Lamb to continue this ridiculous performance. He was once traded as part of the James Harden deal and has never amounted to Jack Squat before this season. Please allow him to continue to shoot 51 and 36 so that Idaho can continue to offer him in trades. 

Juan de Fuca

• Hi Santa, please allow this crop of Forwards to produce at unsustainable levels.
• Mr. Covington – carry on your pursuit of MIP and get 24 steals in a 4 game period.
• Dear Dr. Scholls – please continue to provide great arch support to Brook Lopez so he doesn’t have any foot issues. Your new comfort gel packs are obviously working wonders.
• Kyrie, please come back healthy to join one of the all-time JBL great 5-man guard lineups in recent memory (Kyrie, Harden, Knight, Lowry and Clarkson). Holy cow. 

Manhattan Beach

• Dear Christopher Lloyd (Doc Brown) and all back to the future characters – please allow MBB to use your time machine so that we can go back in time to when Kobe, Rose, Noah, Mayo, Joe Johnson and Big Al were all fantasy forces. This is anywhere from 3-5 years ago depending on the player.
• Dear Nick Young – never stop jacking shots and celebrating (even when you miss) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JG_wClmLUh8
• Andrew Wiggins – stay healthy and continue to get better - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCx43VS-9Do
• Dear Will Barton – keep up the surprisingly good work

Maui

• Dear St. John’s Ambulance staff – please send more bandaids for this roster. We’ve lost man games to AD, Rubio, Calderon, Gobert, Jones, Teague, Ginobili, Oladipo, and Korver. 
• Mr. Porzingis – keep up the great work please. With a $1 dollar price tag and a 5 year rookie contract he could be one of the best keepers in the JBL. His last 10 games? 16ppg, 10reb, 27 blocks while shooting 46/43%. Holy moly JBL fans.
• Father time – please continue to support Dirty Dirk with his very slow gradual decline. He’s averaging 17 and 7 while shooting 50/45/91. I think many of us thought he would regress big time this season. Father Time had other ideas.
• Hey Unibrow – 24 and 10? That’s it? Santa knows you can do better.

Norfolk

• It was all very rosey until Harrison got hurt. Please come back soon Mr. Barnes
• Hey Ty Lawson – do whatever you need to do to get back to your old ways. Do we need a beer advent calendar for you? Would that help?  http://denver.cbslocal.com/2015/07/16/prosecutors-want-alcohol-monitoring-for-nuggets-ty-lawson/
• Aaron Gordon – this was supposed to be your breakout. It’s only Channing Frye and Andrew Nicholson – you can beat them. Can’t you?
• Hey Kentavious Caldwell-Pope – Bangkok’s calling. Your last name is intriguing to them. 
• Hey Kemba – keep shooting 44/37 because those career averages are a long way down
• Mr. Duncan. You are the greatest PF to ever play – but 9 & 9? We were hoping for a little bit more scoring. Alas, you are awesome. Whatever you can provide, we’ll take. Stay healthy. Cheers. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcZLLZU0OzI

Seoul

• D’Angelo – can you score more please? That goes for you too Horford, Wade, Wall and others.
• Mr. Wade – can you please stay healthy? And as mentioned, score a little more.
• Dear Thabo – please keep it up. You are the new Danny Green
• Mason Plumlee – you are awesome. Stocks, stocks, stocks. I love stocks. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ovUkATL4l_g
• Santa - Please bring me a 3 point gunner. 

South Surrey

• Dear Mr. Curry. While you are averaging 32-5-6 and shooting 52/56/94 with 2.4 steals per game and having probably one of the greatest fantasy seasons in recent memory – would it kill you to get a couple more blocks? You only have 3. Of course, we’re kidding. Just keep being the MVP every night.
• Jrue – time to suck it up and play more than 20 minutes a night. Take the bubble wrap off. Either you’re healthy or you’re not
• Luol and Tyson – yes, we know you’re getting old but seriously – time to play
• Jared Sullinger – keep eating those Subway sandwiches because you are still a very large man
• Hey Zach Randolph. You have 1 block. Clearly, you cannot jump. http://www.sbnation.com/2013/5/21/4354252/zach-randolph-matt-bonner-jump-ball

So, that’s it for me and the JBL Christmas wish lists. Enjoy the weekend.